The Universe Knew the exact perfect timing for us to meet.
Any other time I would not have seen into his soul.
In the past, I was attached to judgements. I had a list of all the things and stuff that I had to have in my dream partner. I wouldn’t have seen him the same if we met earlier in life.
He would have been too young. Body hair would have been a judgement.
His shyness would have thru me off and I would have judged him for being shy.
The Universe knew that!
I had healing work to do on me.
I needed to know me 100% first.
And then I needed to have the courage to be me!
And then I had to have the courage to stay being me in a romantic situation.
Instead of becoming something else to simply please.
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I grew up a tall thick girl in the 90’s, when twiggy was popular. The iconic women at the time was boney and petite. I was athletic and much larger then all the other girls. Only a few boys were even taller then me.
I wanted to be loved, to feel loved, to know I was wanted and desired. I didn’t get a lot of attention growing up and I watched as my best fiends blossomed into gorgeous teenagers with options and many choices with who to date. I didn’t have a choice, nobody was crushing on me.
I watched, and I craved to be a part of it.
At 18 years old I gobbled up any male attention. I did things my body did not want to do, and I shut down my own body with my mind, telling my body this was the only way to receive love.
I endured a few years abusive relationships. And never once did I feel truly me, truly seen and truly loved.
I put everything into pleasing my partners, serving and performing.
It was exhausting.
It was all smoke n mirrors. I didn’t feel loved.
The days of dating always seemed to bring me the next “perfect man”. And if he wasn’t perfect I would just make him that way in my head. I lived in a fantasy world and I was addicted to that fantasy.
I would fail to see the massive red flags early on. Seeking attachment or some version of codependency.
I had healing to do before I met my twin flame.
The Universe Knew.
I did a lot work to come to “that place”, that magic place of self-respect and sovereignty.
Of knowing myself, being in an authentic relationship with myself, loving myself, and opening my heart to receiving love. I could be present, I would be transparent and I know when it’s a “hell no” or a “fuck yes” by the feeling in my body.
And so when I met him it was magical from the start.
I could see him.
His heart and soul shined like a lighthouse in a storm.
His actions told me everything I already knew, that I didn’t think I knew, he was the one.
I have surrendered my man hating beliefs because my faith in men has been restored through the heart, soul and consistency of his divine masculine love.
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I’m grateful I met him in the divine timing of the Universe and not a moment sooner.
Trust the timing of the Universe.